My Newest News

Last night I came out of the bathroom to my son, Casey standing there waiting for me. With his voice shaking he said he had to tell me something. I got that same feeling in my gut that I had when my daughter, Katie told me she was pregnant at 15. A big knot. And I knew what he would say. I've known for a long time. I've just been waiting for the words to come from him. He told me he is gay. I immediately hugged him and told him how much I love him. He asked me if this changed that. I told him that nothing would change that. I asked him why he felt he had to tell me right now. Did something happen? He told me he was tired of being lonely. It broke my heart. I am the third person he told. He told his friends Shannon and Mallory first. They were as surprised as I was, which was not at all.  A part of my heart is broken, for him. I know what he has ahead of him. He has prejudice and hatred ahead of him. He's lucky to be in Grand Rapids, which is the 10th gayest city in the country. It was in a magazine article last week. And when I saw it last week I thought it was a good thing for him. He's not alone. He said he hasn't done anything with anyone, thank God. He's not ready for anything like that. I told him to watch out for anyone who would might want to use him. I have to give him the same advice I would give to a girl. Watch out for unscrupulous men. I know this isn't a choice. Why would anyone, by choice, set themselves up for a lifetime of prejudice and hate. I hope, just like I hope for my other kids, that he can be happy. I hope he can someday find someone who will love him the way he deserves.  He also told me he wants to go be a psychologist. I think he would be awesome.

New Beginning

This is my first post on my new blog. Aaaaahhhhhh! I love new! New day, new start. 

 The name of my blog reflects who I am. I am not as young as I used to be. No one I know would call me a girl anymore. But I used to be a freckled faced girl, and anyone who is of any age will tell you, that never really leaves you. You are who you have always been. Even if it's a little part of you deep down inside, it's still there.

Growing up, I was the pale girl with freckles, not tan like everyone else. And everyone liked to point it out to me. Looking back, it was probably not as many times as I thought at the time. I'm sure it was me more than anyone else who thought I didn't quite measure up to all of the tan beings around me. I'm still pale with freckles. It doesn't bother me as much :) Even though people, at our age, still like to point it out to me. I think that's more about them than it is me. If all it took were a tan body to be a good and worthy person, the world would be a much better place, but it takes more than that, so showing me how tan you are and how white I am is pretty pointless. My usual comeback is, "God made me this way." It's true. He did. 

I was never the skinny one. I grew up with cousins as neighbors. The whole neighborhood was family. The cousins were skinny! I was not. Still not. I always felt so fat growing up. If I only knew! I would love to have that "fat" body back! What did I know! Some people do actually point it out too, like I haven't noticed. Hahaha! How could I not know! They don't do it in a mean way, but in a backhanded way. Except for my doctor. He's pretty straightforward, but I like him anyway. Again, I think it's more about them than me. If you have to try to make me feel bad about myself to feel good about yourself, so be it. I can take it. I'm pretty tough. And it doesn't work anyway because I know I'm a pretty good person no matter my size or what other people want me to feel.

Well, that's it for now. I'll be back soon with some pics of the freckled face girl and those I love.